Stop Doing These 10 Rude Things When You Text

By Nikki Thrace • Dec 10, 2024
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Texting has made communication faster, easier, and more convenient than ever. Yet, the same habits that make texting so quick can also cause misunderstandings, offend others, or even hurt feelings. While you might think you're being efficient, some texting behaviors can come across as dismissive, impersonal, or downright rude. These small digital faux pas can add up over time, affecting personal and professional relationships alike.

1. When Punctuation Feels Cold

You've carefully worded your response, ended it with a proper period, and hit send. But did you know that the simple period can unintentionally come off as cold or insincere? According to a study conducted by researchers at Binghamton University, text messages ending in a period are often perceived as less sincere than those left open-ended or punctuated with an exclamation point.

Why does this happen? Texting lacks the vocal tone and body language we rely on during face-to-face communication. That tiny period may feel like a full stop to the flow of conversation. Instead, consider skipping punctuation entirely in informal chats or opting for an exclamation mark when you want to convey enthusiasm. For instance, "Got it!" feels warmer than "Got it."

2. Emojis: The Fine Line Between Fun and Frustration

Emojis are a fantastic way to add personality to your texts. A single heart or smiley can soften the tone and make your message feel friendly. However, too many emojis — especially when used to replace words — can confuse or irritate the recipient. A barrage of random icons can feel like noise instead of communication. Worse, certain emojis, like the thumbs-up, can come across as passive-aggressive in certain contexts.

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For professional settings or newer relationships, err on the side of caution. Keep emojis minimal and relevant. Think of them as a seasoning for your message — enhancing but not overpowering the meaning.

3. Delayed Replies: The New Silent Treatment?

We've all been guilty of forgetting to respond to a text or opening a message only to get distracted by something else. However, consistently delaying responses — especially for days — can make others feel unimportant. For example, if a friend sends a heartfelt update and receives no acknowledgment, they may wonder if you're upset or simply uninterested.

If you know you can't respond immediately, try this simple fix: send a quick message like, "I saw your text but I'm busy right now — let's chat later." This not only shows you value their time but also helps prevent misinterpretations.

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4. One-Letter Responses: Why 'K' Feels Like a Slap

Short responses like "k" or "cool" may seem efficient, but they often come across as dismissive or even annoyed. This is especially true when the other person has put effort into crafting a thoughtful message. These one-word replies can leave the recipient feeling brushed off or wondering if they've done something wrong.

Instead of sending a curt reply, take a moment to add context or warmth. For instance, instead of "k," you might say, "Okay, sounds good!" It's a small effort that can make a big difference in keeping conversations positive and engaging.

5. Text Novels: When Too Much Is Just Too Much

On the flip side, sending extremely long messages can overwhelm the recipient. A multi-paragraph text might feel more like a chore than a conversation, especially if they're busy or skimming through notifications. Lengthy texts can also bury key points, making it harder for the reader to focus on what's important.

If you find yourself typing out a mini-essay, consider whether a phone call or email might be a better way to convey your thoughts. A good rule of thumb is to keep texts concise and to the point. Save detailed discussions for formats better suited to longer communication.

6. Apologies That Fall Flat

Texting makes apologizing easier, but easier doesn't always mean better. Apologizing via text can lack the emotional connection needed for genuine reconciliation. As reported by Business Insider, MIT social scientist Sherry Turkle said that face-to-face apologies foster empathy, allowing both parties to share and feel each other's emotions. Without these visual and vocal cues, texting an apology might come across as perfunctory or insincere.

For significant situations, prioritize face-to-face conversations or phone calls over text. Not only will it make your apology more meaningful, but it will also strengthen your bond with the other person.

7. Grammar Patrol: Don't Be That Person

While proper grammar is important in professional writing, nitpicking typos or small mistakes in casual texts can come off as pedantic or condescending. Texting is meant to be quick and conversational, not an essay competition. Pointing out someone's errors — especially when the meaning is still clear — can create tension.

If a typo truly changes the meaning of the message, address it kindly. Otherwise, let minor mistakes slide and focus on the bigger picture of the conversation.

8. Typing Bubbles: The Unspoken Frustration

Watching typing bubbles appear, disappear, and then reappear can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Is the person hesitating? Rethinking their words? Or just distracted? This seemingly small behavior can unintentionally create anxiety for the recipient.

To avoid this, think through your message before starting to type. If you're unsure what to say, draft the message elsewhere and paste it in when it’s ready. A quick, "Give me a minute to respond" can also alleviate any confusion.

9. Group Texts: A Recipe for Chaos

Group texts can be great for coordinating plans but are often a source of frustration. Between endless notifications and irrelevant side conversations, they can quickly spiral out of control. A 50-person group text for a single announcement is rarely the best approach.

Instead, use group chats sparingly and keep messages relevant to everyone involved. For more personal updates, consider individual messages. If you're on the receiving end of a noisy group text, mute notifications or reply privately to the sender.

10. Texting in Social Settings

Texting during shared experiences — like a movie, dinner, or meeting — sends a clear message: the person on your phone is more important than those around you. A 2023 survey by Trends in Consumer Mobility Report from Bank of America®, highlighted that movie theaters are the number one place where people find texting to be most irritating, followed closely by religious institutions and restaurants.

Practicing mindfulness in these moments is key. If you absolutely must respond to a message, step outside or wait until there's a natural pause in the activity. This small effort shows respect for the people around you and helps maintain the quality of your shared experience.

Practical Tips to Be a Better Texter

Now that you're aware of common texting faux pas, here are a few actionable tips to enhance your texting etiquette:

  • Be Direct and Thoughtful: Avoid vague messages like "Can we talk?" which can cause unnecessary anxiety. Instead, provide context, such as, "Can we talk about this weekend's plans?"
  • Respect Time Zones: If you're texting someone in another region or late at night, double-check the timing. Sending a non-urgent text at 2 a.m. could come across as inconsiderate.
  • Adjust Based on Relationships: Close friends and family might appreciate casual texting styles, but colleagues or new acquaintances might expect more formality.
  • Double-Check for Tone: Before hitting send, ask yourself how your text might be interpreted. Is it clear? Could it be misread as rude or dismissive?

By following these tips, you can make your texts more meaningful and avoid inadvertently causing offense.

Thoughtfulness Goes a Long Way

Texting is an incredible tool for staying connected, but it requires mindfulness to keep communication clear and relationships strong. Seemingly small habits — from how you use punctuation to the timing of your responses — can significantly impact how your messages are received. With a little awareness and effort, you can ensure that your texts build connections rather than create misunderstandings.

The next time you pick up your phone, pause for a moment. Think about the message you're sending — not just in words but in tone and timing. In our digital age, showing care and respect through a simple text can go a long way.

References: 12 Texting Habits You Might Not Realize Are Annoying | MIT Researcher Sherry Turkle Explains How Texting Affects Empathy

The This Read team was assisted by generative AI technology in creating this content
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